About a month until due date and I am feeling this meme SO MUCH. My first came on her due date (well, the day after but labor started on her due date) and I have a slightly insane fixation and expectation that this baby will be just as punctual, though I know that the odds are not in my favor. Anyway, I am real tired of being pregnant. Between the sore back, sore hips, heartburn, fatigue, breathlessness, and general irritability I am just over it (thankful to be healthy and able to carry this lil guy, of course) but yeah, over the whole pregnancy bit. I am looking forward to meeting him and for our daughter to meet him too. Definitely nervous about labor but also interested to see how it differs (and is hopefully improved) with the midwife program I am working with vs the OB. Hoping that maybe my daughter can be at the birth if things align. Hoping that going from 1 to 2 isn’t too terribly rough. Hoping that lil guy is as laid back as his sister (I feel like we got an “easy baby” with our first and don’t feel like people often get 2 of those tho…) We’ll make it work! Just waiting around to see what we’re working with!
I haven’t written in soooo long but have been following along with others’ journeys. This pregnancy has had a lot of similarities and some differences from my first. Some differences I’ve noticed…
1. Different and less intense cravings. I had a NEED for sweet carbs with my firstborn. Pancakes in particular. But pie, cake, pastries, etc. were all good as well. None of that this pregnancy but some sour/tangy/spicy leanings.
2. A little more discomfort. I’ve had more “Braxton Hicks” like discomfort, vaginal pain, and cramping with this pregnancy. My chest also often feels like it is being squished and I have struggled with sitting upright for longer periods of time (the hour car ride over Christmas and the 2 movies we recently saw were hell). My sciatica is back but on the left this time and located more underneath my butt and down my leg than in my hip/back this time, so that’s fun.
3. Anterior placenta and a huge delay in movement. First movements were super low, faint, and basically in my vagina. Finally feeling bigger kicks and rolls higher up now (29 weeks tomorrow)!
4. It’s a boy! We didn’t find out with our first but decided to go for it this time. Baby was not shy and I spotted XY parts almost immediately. It was a bit shocking at first! My wife described a feeling of “shock and dismay” initially which dissipated before we even left the ultrasound. We’re having a son! She was so sure we were having another girl. I thought it was a boy but was wrong with our first and wife was right, so it was a fun reversal. I could not stop laughing in the ultrasound. Of the donor sibs we know, 6 are girls (including ours) and 2 are boys (well, 3 with our new one). 2 families just had twin girls and a little girl so I wasn’t sure if we’d keep with the pattern of girls or break it! I’m excited to raise both a daughter and a son (and I want one more too 😁).
I haven’t had the time or energy to sit down and write. I’m off for the summer and home with the toddler. Parenting a 2 year old while battling first trimester fatigue and nausea is no joke! Though it seems to be letting up a little bit, which is exactly the timeframe of my last pregnancy.
So yeah! I’m pregnant, with my wife’s embryo! We had a little scare with a small amount of spotting at 7w3d so we got to check in on the baby and all was well. Heartbeat at 151, up from 112 at the 6 wk scan.
Our 2 year old is so cute and chatty about “her baby sister” (no we don’t know the sex yet, but we’re going to find out this time!) I have no preference at all, but wife and daughter are both convinced that it’s a girl. 🤷🏼♀️ we’ll see!
So we transferred one fresh, good-looking, day-5 embryo yesterday! 4 more made it to freeze, which we are pleased about. My lining was very thick (14mm, but apparently that is not a bad thing, so I’m not going to worry since Ive already done my googling and been reassured by the doc). Overall, the transfer was pretty painless, I had to pee pretty badly near the end, but other than that it went smoothly. Slept much of the 4 hour ride home due to the Xanax and have just been hanging at home today with the 2-year-old. She is currently napping and nursing. Not having to do the retrieval and just doing the transfer has made it possible not to have to wean, which I am happy about (and some women do nurse during retrieval as well).
Had someone told me two years ago that I’d be doing this whole pregnancy thing again so soon, I don’t think I would have believed them. Wife, yes. But here I am! Tiny embaby hopefully burrowing in. I am a lot more laid back about all this, this time around. I will be disappointed if it doesn’t work (honestly, because the process is so much work) but am optimistic and will test on Sunday (against doctors orders). 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
Well, wife’s retrieval is set for Thursday! We trigger this evening. Then transfer to me 3-5 (hopefully 5) days later. Wife’s eggs are big and bountiful. My lining is great. If this works out, I have to say that I really like the process and the teamwork of RIVF. Our bodies are working together to make a baby!! Hoping to be growing a little sibling for our little soon!
Out of town childfree weddings, fine. Whatever. Inviting people to your out of town wedding, having them book cabins at your in-the-mountains retreat and then casually mentioning after the fact that kids aren’t welcome at the ceremony or reception but are definitely still welcome to come hang out in the days leading up to said out-of-town wedding… and that they’ll work on trying to find some childcare, but no promises so maybe bring someone along to watch your kids. I’m so pisssssed. We’re talking a 2-day drive out of town. $1000 worth of cabin fees that we would put on the other couple we are sharing with if we back out now. Not cool man. Also, my friend with a new baby who also had the oh-so-convenient out-of-town, childfree wedding is upset that she can’t bring her baby…sigh. At least there is some consolation humor in that.
Well, we’re not pregnant. But rewind a few weeks, wife and I were discussing our plan should she not be pregnant. I told her I thought that we should switch to IVF if/when the time is right and possibly consider doing reciprocal if they can synch our cycles and do a fresh transfer (as it is unlikely that her lining would be adequate for a fresh transfer). She has been pretty tight lipped about planning for the “in case” future because she found it disheartening, but once we found out how thin her lining is, the reality of IUI working out has started to dim a bit. Add that to certain career opportunities and new responsibilities wife is currently looking at and it’s making more sense. She seemed to give a sigh of relief and even said “now I kinda hope I’m not pregnant” and we did the POAS to confirm it. It was bittersweet.
We’ve been in contact with a clinic in St Louis and have gotten some price points. It’s not pretty, but wife did get a settlement from her bike accident and we’ve put that away for a rainy day. Cue rainy day. It feels kind of weird to be putting so much money towards something with so many question marks, but that’s the nature of this process in general. And honestly if it works out, it’s totally worth it. Money does not even begin to place a value on being moms and creating our family. It is beyond money.
That said, if it doesn’t work out, it will be pretty shitty. I am optimistic that it will work out in one way or another though. Wife seems to make eggs like a champ, just not lining, and I had a really great pregnancy and lactate like a boss. We’ll see what the doc says.
Here’s to the next adventure!