So it’s been some time since I posted! Though I have been following pretty closely regardless 🙂
I recently joined and then dropped out of a FB group for people who used or are the product of a donor or donors. I thought it would be interesting but immediately realized that it is actually pretty anti-donor families. At least the last several posts have been.
As I was wading through posts, some donor conceived (DC) people had very strong emotions. One went so far as to say she hates her mother and wishes she had never been born. Obviously some issues there, but started to freak me out a little. Some expressed that they felt that the term “donor” was dehumanizing for them and made them feel as though part of them wasn’t “real.” Others expressed that they felt anonymous sperm donation should be illegal. Some have looked for anonymous donors through DNA banks like 23 and me in order to find relatives related to their donor.
We initially used a known donor, related to my wife, but this was a pretty traumatic experience as I lost that pregnancy and our relationship with donor and his wife got very complicated and a bit hostile (if I knew how to link to that post I would…it’s probably one of my first posts).
Anyway, fast forward to us looking for a new donor and we decided to go anonymous, in part because of our traumatic experience with a known donor and in part because we knew that we would really like to have more than one child and we wanted to buy as much sperm as we could afford (known donor sperm is more expensive).
So, anyone have any input on this? I don’t want our child to feel deprived and we plan on having siblings from the same donor. We are also in connection with 3 donor sibs. We have already made a book for our kiddo on Shutterfly telling the story or her conception and plan on always being forthright with her. Anyone go the anonymous route? What do you call your “donor?”